Say You Will
by Immortal Vows
Summary: Things weren't planned. Tori, a preppy hospitalized girl who's on the brink of death. Beck, a good-looking sincere boyfriend that searched for more. Then there's me, Jade West, the reason they kept on returning to the hospital and soon to a cemetery.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Victorious. I do not own Facebook. Read and review!**

**-Immortal Vows**

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><p>She was laying down on her bed. You were sitting on a chair. Cat was sitting on the bed. Andre was playing Tori's keyboard. Robbie and Rex were leaning against the wall. I sat next to you on another chair. We were all hanging out in her room. We had to visit her. Pretty soon it got quiet. We all focused on her. My heart was beating fast. She smiled at each and every one of us. I saw when her eyes lingered on your form. My stomach clenched and I wanted to scowl but I look away. This was too much.<p>

Cat started crying first. Tears stroll down her beautiful face. I never told her this, but Cat was beautiful. Her hair was the color of a velvet cupcake but without the dye it was a mouse brown. Her eyes were dark and her eye lashes were long. She was beautiful in my eyes. And it hurt me inside to see her cry but I won't ever tell her.

"Don't cry Cat," whispered Tori.

Cat shook her head fiercely. "No, this shouldn't be happening. You shouldn't be in this bed. You shouldn't have to suffer like this. Who would do this to you? Who Tori? Who?" Cat stormed out of the room. Robbie and Rex followed her out of there. They probably didn't want anyone to see them cry. It's understandable.

Andre moved closer to Tori. He took her small hand into his. He didn't cry but I saw the sadness in his eyes. He wouldn't cry here. He would cry at home. He wouldn't burden Tori. He wouldn't burdened the girl he loves. Who would?

"Tori, hang on girl," encouraged Andre. "You can make it."

Tori closed her eyes. You and Andre hold your breath. My heart beats faster. Did she moved on? Was she dead?

"I'll try Andre. I'll try to make it." promised Tori.

Andre moved a strand of hair from her face. "I know you're in pain. I'll call a nurse. Don't leave while I'm gone."

Andre leaves the room too. This left me, you, and her. It was like always. The infamous trio. Even though they gossip started way before that night, we know the affair started recently and ended quickly.

"Tori," you breathed. I

tightened my grip on your arm. You hesitate but leaned in closer. Tori smiled briefly but shook her head. No words were needed between the two of you. The envy in my heart grew darker. I wish we were like that. Why couldn't we be like that? Why couldn't I be enough? Why did you see everything in her but not everything in me?

You sighed and covered your face. "Tori, you can't leave. I'm not trying to sound selfish but we need you."

She and I hear the desperation in your voice. The agony and sadness in your words. We both know what you really wanted to say. You need her.

Tori inhaled. "Then I just can't leave yet." She moved her eyes. They focused on me. Those chocolate eyes pierced me. Maybe she knew. "Who else will Jade have to torture?"

You smiled weakly. "Yeah,"

I squirmed in my chair. I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to leave. When would we leave?

"Beck, can I talk with Jade in private?" asked Tori.

You nodded and gave me a quick glance. I silently pleaded with my eyes. He got up and walked away. I should've said no. I should've followed you. How could I get up and walk out? My body froze. I stared at you while you left. He probably went to comfort Cat. I needed you though. Why could you stay or insist?

"Jade,"

I slowly turned to face her. Her skin was lighter than usual. Her brown hair lost some of it's luster. She was wearing a hospital gown. Yes, this was what Tori Vega was deduced to. The only thing that didn't change was her eyes. They were half-open but I could see the life in them.

"I forgive you Jade."

My heart slowed down. She forgave me. She forgave me? Did she know? What did that mean? My hand covered my mouth. It stopped me from making any noise. I didn't want to be here. I couldn't take this anymore. A nurse came in followed by Andre. I took this as my chance of escape. I couldn't do this. This was too much. I got up and nearly ran to the door.

"Jade-"

I closed the door behind me. I felt the tears forming. One fell and I quickly wiped it away.

"Jade are you alright?" You questioned. You patted my back and held me. I didn't cry. I wrapped my arms around him. This was right. This was how life was supposed to be. You and I were made for this.

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Before I went to sleep, that night replayed in my mind. Guilt was threatening to swallow me whole. I laid on my bed and hugged my pillow tightly. I didn't want to think about it anymore.

_I was furious. There was rumors about you cheating on me. You would never do that. You loved me. The rumors were getting out of control. That shit needed to end now._

_That's why I was stalking her. You weren't home at the moment. I know you were great but still a girl has her doubts. I suspected something was going on. The whole school suspected. I needed to confirm this feeling of doubt._

_Outside in the alley, I saw her open window. She was by alone. That made me calm down. I almost left if I didn't see her laughing. What was she laughing about?_

_That's when I saw you. You came and held her in your arms. She gently placed her hands on your arms._ _No._ _You were swaying her back and forth. She kept on laughing._

_ I was furious. What the fuck was going on?_ _That's when I saw it. I saw the kiss. You and her were kissing. The kiss was fierce and passionate. Then it slowed down. I saw the sensitivity and tenderness. A tenderness that I never really had. That made my blood boil. I got into my car that I parked in the alley. I pounded the driving wheel and stomped my feet. How could you do this to me? No. It wasn't your fault. It was hers._

_I sat in the car. It wasn't long before she and you came out. You left in your truck. She stood outside. She was smiling and waving. I was angry. I was livid. So I ran her over. It was fast. I stamped my feet on the gas pedal. The car screeched forward. Before she could react, she was flying in the air. I didn't look back. I sped off with amazing speed._ _I was happy. I was singing. But then that's when it hit me. She could've been dead. I could be in jail._ _What the fuck did I do?_

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In the morning, you picked me up again. You pressured me to see her. I couldn't face her. I couldn't face my mistake. My jealous. My envy. My remorse. It was too much. And I, Jade West, am not made for this. I was meant to be a bad ass chick with a sexy ass boyfriend. I had all of it a few days ago.

This time Robbie and Rex were sitting on the bed. Andre held her hand. Cat brushed her hair. You told her funny stories to pass the time. What did I do? I calmly pretended as if I wasn't there. As if the inevitable fact that she's dying didn't exist. As if I would see her tomorrow again. She would be the center of boys' attention and I would say a nasty remark. Things could be like that tomorrow...but there's a strong chance it can't be.

"Can I speak to Jade and Beck in private?" asked Tori.

The others left respectfully. I held your hand. Tori sighed. Why did she sigh? What did she expect? A fairytale ending? For you and her to live happily ever after under the Hollywood lights? Doesn't she know that you're still mine? That what she and you had is over? That what you and I have should be eternal, despite the feeling in my stomach?

"Jade, I'm sorry," apologized her and you simultaneously.

I squeezed your hand. "What is it? Why are you apologizing?" I asked, even though deep in my heart I knew. Being an actress has it's perks. I can lie my ass off. You'll believe every detail and hang on to it as if it were the truth.

"Jade, I cheated," you whispered . "I'm so sorry."

I turned my face. The feeling of irony. "I love you. You cheated on me with her?" Can anybody say Oscar nomination?

You nodded and kissed my hand. "Jade, please forgive me."

I bit the inside of my cheeks. The sounds coming from the monitors mocked me. They were tormenting me. "I could," I turned back to face him. "If you tell me that you love me." Please, please tell me that you do. That's all I ask.

"Jade-"

I waved my hand to silence them. "Tell me that love you me and that it was a mistake,"

You ran your fingers through your hair. "Jade, I love you but-"

"Jade, it's all my fault," she croaked. "It's not Beck's fault. I did it. I initiated it but Beck loves you. He knows it's a mistake. Right?"

You showed a hint of being shocked but nodded your head. "Please forgive us,"

I kissed you on the lips. My body was shaking. It was a chaste kiss. It's almost like a good-bye kiss. "I gave you my all but it never was enough coming from a girl like me,"

"Jade-"

I was angry. I stood up. "No! Ever since she came, I see the way you look at her. I see the way you long for her. Face it! You wanted a preppy, funny girl! I bet when you go to sleep you think about ways for dumping me."

You stood up, trying to holding on to me. "Jade, we're in a hospital."

My hand slashed the air behind me. Beck took a step back. "I don't give a damn where we are. I'm fucking pissed and you expect me to give a shit? Fuck no, I'll say anything I want to fucking say before security escorts me out."

"Jade!"

"You! I hate you now. I hate what you've made me become." A tear fell but I swiped it away. "I was never a softie. I would never be here. Maybe she wouldn't be here. Maybe everything you love gets messed up."

"Don't say that!" Beck took a giant step. He was half angry and half remorseful. "Take that back!"

I sniffed. I went to her bed. I stood right over her. "Tori, this is good-bye." I kissed her forehead. I had to set things right. "You can have him because I don't want him." I left with tears in my eyes. This time there was too much to hold back. I was letting go of you. You were all I know. It was like letting go a piece of me. And how could I live without a piece of my heart? But how could I live my heart being constantly abused?

...I couldn't and it's not fair to me...

"JADE!" You shouted.

I turned around. "FUCK YOU! FUCK THIS SHIT! I'M DONE! I'M SO FUCKING DONE WITH YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

Cat, Robbie, and Andre came running down the hallway. They obviously heard cursing and recognized my voice. They began to crowd around me but I broke free.

"Please, just leave me alone." I whispered. Even though I whispered it, I'm sure everyone in the area heard it. They saw it. They saw a broken-hearted girl. They saw the me I never wanted to be...they saw the me I was so desperate to hide.

They saw Jade West raw.

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I was in my bed. The scene in the hospital messed up my psyche. As soon as I came home I took a shower. I scrubbed my skin until my flesh turned pink. Maybe I did it to wash my sins away. I was Catholic but I didn't practice it. Maybe I did it as a sign to myself that I'm starting over. I didn't know exactly why. I just did it. It wouldn't make a difference. I was there. It happened.

I was going through my phone. I had 69 missed calls, 27 voice mails, 109 notifications from Facebook, 34 messages in my inbox on Facebook, 58 text messages, 15 media messages, and 46 emails. And it was going higher by the minute. I went on Facebook. The first thing I saw was your relationship status.

Beck went from being "married" to "single".

My stupid self commented on it. _Good-bye, and good luck Beck._

I didn't read all the comments but I got the overall messages. One, people were sad that you and I broke up. Two, we should get back together. Three, people thought it was a joke. Four, girls couldn't wait to get their hands on you. And lastly, all good things come to an end.

I was about to turn my phone off when I got a call. I was immediately going to ignore it but then I saw the name. It was from the hospital. So it had to be her. She was calling me. I answered it. I was curious to see what she would say.

"Jade," she moaned.

I gulped. "I'm here," I held the phone loosely. My hand was shaking. Why was I nervous?

She exhaled. "I think this is it. Jade, can I have one request."

"S-Sure," I shuttered. Jade West was stuttering. What else was new?

"Can we play that game? The game where each new sentence begins with a letter of the alphabet."

I smirked. "Absolutely, we can do that,"

"Beck didn't cheat on you on purpose,"

The phone almost fell from my hands. "Can we not talk about him?" Seriously, I don't want to talk about that mess. I'm trying to put it behind me.

"Definitely, but it's better if I die without regrets on my chests,"

I inhaled. "Exactly what I would've done,"

"From the start, I've liked Beck," confessed Tori.

"Great, that's an honest start," I said sarcastically. I don't want to hear this shit.

"He was sweet and nice and made me feel good,"

My voice was shaky. "I felt the same way. I can relate to you,"

"Judging from my time at Hollywood Arts, you guys have been through a lot,"

"Kids our age wouldn't understand,"

"Like me, people like me didn't understand,"

I gripped the phone. "No! Don't say that!" Really!

"You lose." I heard her giggling. "That brings back so many memories."

I wiped a stray tear. "Yeah, it does." Usually I kicked ass in that game.

"Jade, Beck loves you more than anything. What Beck and I had...was nothing compared to you. Beck was just fascinated by me. I was a shooting star. You're his moon."

I stayed quiet. I wasn't sure how to respond. How does someone respond to that?

"Jade, I..I-I was pregnant,"

The whole world must have stopped and fell on me on that moment. I fell back on my bed. The phone was close to my ear. Life was a bitch. Tori Vega was pregnant...for Beck? My Beck?

"Tori!" I yelled. "How could you?" Bitch, now I'm hurt.

"It wasn't for Beck," she sighed. "It was for Andre."

My heart went back to it's normal pace. The world was off my shoulders and resumed being less of a bitch. Still, Tori was pregnant for Andre...wait, was?

"Tori, wha-what happened to-to th-the ba-"

"I lost it because of the accident." she said flatly. "I was two months and a week so that was five weeks. My parents didn't know though. I never planned to tell them."

My throat was dry. The reason she wasn't pregnant...was because of me. I killed her baby...and soon there will be two deaths on my head. What about Andre? His child wouldn't be able to see his talented father. He would never be able to hear his wonderful mother's voice. They didn't even have a chance to be a family?

"Jade, I knew it was you but I forgive you." She breathed. "I saw you in the car. I saw you from inside my apartment. That night, when you saw Beck swinging me around, was one of the saddest nights of my life. Beck didn't know the baby in my stomach didn't belong to him- heck, Andre didn't know it either. But now everyone knows. I kind of deserve the pain I'm going through now." I

lick my lips. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve it!" Half, she didn't deserve half of the stuff that happened to her.

She was silent. Then she coughed. "Jade, I looked up to you. I wanted your swag, you attitude, your strength- I wanted to be you. But now looking back, we didn't ever see the real you, did we?"

I blinked. The tears were pooling at the rim of my eyelids. "Tori, we all wanted to be something we're not. That doesn't matter. What matters now is what's happening now."

She coughs again. "You're guilty, Beck is probably having a tantrum, and Andre is crying his eyes out. Cat may be singing a sad song and Robbie and Rex are sitting in the dark. You're all falling apart. Jade, you have to keep them together. You have to whip their butts and help them get over me. Promise Jade, especially promise me that you'll take care of Cat and Robbie. They'll need it the most."

"I promise," I sobbed. "You promise me to not die today, got it Vega?"

"I got it, West. See you sometime huh?"

I smirked. "See you Vega." That night, I cried myself to sleep. My pillow was soaking wet in the morning.

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Tori Vega died on Saturday. She died after Andre kissed her...at least that's what Cat told me. And I have strong faith in Cat's words. She doesn't lie...much.

You, Cat, Andre, Robbie, and I went to Tori's funeral together. I sat in the back between Andre and Robbie. You kept on looking at me through the mirror. I didn't even glance at you. It was over. I didn't want you anymore. For the first time, I felt like I was really becoming somebody.

This was the first time Rex and Robbie were not together. Robbie said Rex had nightmares from seeing Tori at the viewing. It was a lie but none of us called him out on it. We all knew it wasn't Rex having the nightmares. We could all see it in the bags under his eyes and the cup of large coffee.

At the funeral I was the only one woman that wasn't crying. I promised I would lament in private. I held Cat though. She started crying as soon as she saw the coffin being put into the ground. I strongly believed that if I didn't hold her, Cat would've jumped into the coffin. Mr. and Mrs. Vega were crying. Trina was blubbering and her make-up was ruined. You can the funeral was almost a public event. Kids from Hollywood Arts stood close and from afar watching the end of a star. As I watched all of them, guilt was threatening to drown me. The sobs and wails were killing me.

'I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!'

I stepped forward to Mr. Vega. He was a police officer. I would confess to him. He would probably yell at me before restraining my arms. I killed his precious daughter. The judge might even harden my sentence because I killed a policeman's daughter. I didn't care. I was going to confess.

"Mr. Vega, I k-"

You brushed your fingers against mine. I shivered. I forgot the feel of your skin. I knew what you were trying to tell me- don't confess. I already had Mr. Vega's attention. He was waiting for me to complete my sentence. My mouth got dry.

"I-"

"She offers her condolences," You interrupted. "And so I. Tori was full of life. It's sad to see a heart like that go."

Mr. Vega nodded and smiled. "That was my daughter for you. I'll miss her everyday."

"And so will we," said Andre.

The funeral ended and the crowd of people slowly disappeared. In the end it was Cat, Andre, Robbie, me, and you. Cat was leaning on Robbie. Andre held his head strong. Your face was an unreadable mask. I frowned. That's when I stepped forward. It felt like I had to do this. After all, I did promise Tori.

"Good-bye Victoria Vega. Even though you loved it when people called you Tori, Victoria was the perfect name. You were victorious. You made it shine and I will never forget that." I breathed. "Now, we're going to make it shine."

A little smile appeared on everyone's face. Hey, I did something right.

A few minutes passed. Cat and Robbie probably reached the truck already. Andre stayed behind for a few minutes. It was you and me walking back to your truck. The wind was blowing. The leaves were dancing.

"She told me everything," you whispered.

I hugged myself. "So you know that it's my fault she's not alive."

You sighed. "Yeah, I forgave you a long time ago. Jade, did you know Tori was pregnant? The baby wasn't mine. It was Andre's baby."

I nodded and placed a strand of hair behind my cheek. "I know. Tori told me everything." What goes around, comes back around twice as fast.

You laughed bitterly. "She broke my heart. I feel stupid."

I squeezed myself. "Now you know how I felt." _Felt. _Meaning I don't feel the same way entirely.

You bit your lip. You ran your fingers through my hair. "Jade, I'm sorry. I thought Tori was...something special. Don't get me wrong, Tori was special. She just wasn't the one for me- you are Jade."

I blinked. The tears wanted to fall but I wouldn't let them. I was strong. "Beck,"

"Do you think we can ever get back to where we were?" You asked softly.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. It might never happen or it could take forever and a day. Who knows?

You-Beck held my hand. He kissed it before he pulled me into a hug.

"Say you will Jade," begged Beck.

I shook my head. I took my hand back. It began to rain. Actually, pouring would be the better word. I ran as fast as I could in heels.

_"Say you will Jade," the observer whispered._

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><p><strong>Yeah, this story is far from...what I expected. Still, read and review. I think it's good enough.<strong>

**-Immortal Vows.**


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